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Dear Mr. Send Nudes

by | Feb 21, 2024 | A-Ha Moments, My Dating Diaries, My Stories

Who Knew That “Pre-Dinner Nudes” Was A Thing?

You learn something new everyday. Today I learned that we live in a world where men think it’s okay to ask a woman they have never even met to send them nudes. 

Let me provide some context. 

Girl meets boy through a mutual friend. 

Girl chats with boy via text for 4-5 days before agreeing to a dinner date.

Ten minutes before meeting at the restaurant, boy texts girl, and asks for a “pre-dinner” nude.

Girl puts her pajamas on, and retreats back into the mindset that all men are the same. 

Ah. Modern dating….. 

If you date men, there’s a good chance at least one of them has asked you to send them a naked picture of yourself.  “Send nudes”, seems to have become a slogan in today’s dumpster fire dating culture. 

Every time this has happened to me, I’ve wondered, Why do guys ask for this? What makes a random guy think I’m gonna strip down for him? 

So, because I’m fresh out of f*cks to give, I told a close guy friend (who’s always down for discussing the bizarre inner-workings of the male mind with me) about my recent experience. 

My friend is a good guy, so I was not surprised when his reaction was similar to mine. Neither of us could fathom how a man who really doesn’t even know you, has never met you, and has only exchanged a few texts with you, could so quickly pivot to the thought that he should say “send nudes.” WHY, WHY, WHY?! 

I honestly ask why, because I can’t even begin to think of the thought process in these guys’ minds. You don’t even know my favorite color yet! 

I cringe anytime a guy asks me for nudes. It’s creepy. 

When the infamous “send me a pic” text pops up on your phone with no question mark, no emoji, just a poorly timed and extremely premature statement …I can only assume that either he had some kind of seizure that altered his ability to think intelligently, or he is in fact a GIANT man-child. 

Asking for a nude tells me two things about a guy right off the bat: 1. He has no respect for the receiver 2. He’s likely to be childish and arrogant. Men of any age should know that asking for a nude is awkwardly forward and disrespectful. Especially when you have never even had a proper first date. Am I supposed to be flattered that you find me attractive enough to want to see me undressed? Perhaps I’m supposed to swoon at the fact that you want to sleep with me? This brand of man disgusts me, so while he may not be receiving a nude picture from me, he will be introduced to my block feature.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am sure there are women out there who will oblige and send nudes to a random stranger. Maybe it is these women that have aided in conditioning men to believe that asking for nudes is an acceptable form of behavior that all women would happily partake in. 

So, I have to ask…are men behaving badly because they can? 

Here’s the thing. Mr. Send Nudes tactic must work fairly well for him,  or he would stop using it. 

Think about it. If he was out fishing, this bait has to be bringing in some nice (insert cool fish name here). Maybe not every time, but often enough. Otherwise, he’d be digging in his tackle box for something better. Right? 

Honestly? As women, we need to take a bit of responsibility for rewarding some of the worst male asshole behaviors. 

We have all put up with shit we shouldn’t have. Myself included. But why? 

The truth is probably complicated, and I’m no Dr. Phil.

However, I do know that women often sell themselves too short. Maybe we lack the confidence that we could do better. Maybe we can’t stand being alone. Or maybe we’re insecure and think a guy’s attention will fix our shaky self-esteem. So we put up with immature, irresponsible, and disrespectful men. In short, this doesn’t curb, but rather promotes bad behavior. 

We are rewarding bad behavior.

That being said, men should not be striving to be known as —the “Send Nudes” Guy. I mean, wouldn’t you rather see my sparkling personality? 

Fellas, my advice to you…..if you have to ask for a nude pic, you’re probably not getting one.

XOXO,
Allison Rose

Allison Rose

Founder at Filter Free Bullsh!t Free

Entrepreneurship is my addiction, Sharing my story and empowering others is my passion. My girl gang, my family and tequila shots fuel my soul & calm my head. I’m here to inspire and to be inspired.

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